{"id":70634,"date":"2013-06-12T15:31:54","date_gmt":"2013-06-12T12:31:54","guid":{"rendered":"http:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/?p=70634"},"modified":"2023-04-06T14:15:43","modified_gmt":"2023-04-06T11:15:43","slug":"if-they-are-not-turkish-what-are-they","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/2013\/06\/12\/if-they-are-not-turkish-what-are-they\/","title":{"rendered":"IF THEY ARE NOT TURKISH, WHAT ARE THEY?"},"content":{"rendered":"

Good question. I have already discussed the negative side of the\u00a0proposition in my article They Are Not Turkish<\/em>. But everything needs a name, even in a country like Turkey. In Turkey, people that\u00a0drink beer are called drunks (ayya\u015flar<\/b><\/em>). People that love their natural environment, particularly trees, are called looters, pillagers or\u00a0plunderers (\u00e7apulcular<\/b><\/em>).\u00a0Brave sons and daughters that serve in the\u00a0military are called boiled sheep heads\u00a0(kelleler<\/b><\/em>). At least that\u2019s\u00a0what I learned from listening to the Turkish prime minister. In fact, I have learned much of my Turkish from listening to the prime minister. For example, in\u00a0the past if I wanted to gain someone\u2019s attention I would say, Pardon,” just like the French and English do. But I learned from him that it was much more\u00a0effective to just shout ULAN!!!<\/b><\/em><\/p>\n

Yes, everything needs a name. After all, didn\u2019t God command Adam to name every beast of the field and bird of the sky? Of course he did. So am I not a man? Of course I am. Having un-named AKP gives me a God-given responsibility to rename them, doesn\u2019t it? Of course it does. It might\u00a0even be a sin not to since we all must go about God\u2019s work every day. I can\u2019t\u00a0just call them Non-Turks or Non-humans, can I? No, of course not. That would be disrespectful.<\/p>\n

At first I thought about animals or birds or fish. But there is something about the way animals and birds and fish behave that wouldn\u2019t suit AKP. And I didn\u2019t want to be insulting. So I thought a little lower and smaller, microscopically. Bacteria, perhaps? But much bacteria does good things, like causing fermentation to make beer, wine, whisky, rak\u0131 and even ayran. Obviously more research was required. And so I plunged into my library of science textbooks. And Eureka! like Archimedes I found it. An entire chapter about bad bacteria. And I found an appropriate one.<\/p>\n

It\u2019s a streptococcus pyogene.<\/b><\/em>\u00a0It sounds a little like the pepper gas that is now part of the rich atmosphere of Istanbul.\u00a0In fact, it’s a\u00a0bacteria that causes\u00a0a\u00a0terrible disease called necrotizing\u00a0fasciitis<\/strong>. It\u2019s obviously a fascist kind of bacteria so that fits. Sadly, it results in more than 650,000 invasive infections per year with a mortality rate\u00a0of 25%. Left untreated it kills completely.\u00a0This horrid little thing is often called flesh-eating bacteria. Its progress is rapid and terrifying: reddening skin quickly turns to violet, swelling, blisters and pustules develop, the flesh\u00a0under the skin dies, finally muscle and skin tissue is consumed. Surgery, usually amputation, is the only solution.<\/p>\n

So there you have it.\u00a0They, the AKP members, are definitely not Turkish. But they are, in my scientific 0pinion,\u00a0definitely streptococcus pyogenes<\/strong>, all-consuming fascists like their fellow bacteria specie. Their former political species was the A.K.P. (<\/b><\/em>Adalet\u00a0ve Kalk\u0131nma Partisi<\/b><\/em>)\u00a0wherein,\u00a0sadly,\u00a0there was neither justice nor development. So the members,\u00a0neither Turkish nor human nor animal nor vegetable nor mineral, are now consigned to a much\u00a0more appropriate specie. It\u2019s the least I could do. After all, everyone deserves an appropriate\u00a0name, don’t they?<\/p>\n

Cem\u00a0Ryan, Ph.D.
\nIstanbul
\n11 June 2013, the darkest day in the history of the Republic of Turkey<\/p>\n

 <\/p>\n

\"Streptococcus_pyogenes\"
Streptococcus Pyogenes<\/figcaption><\/figure>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Good question. I have already discussed the negative side of the\u00a0proposition in my article They Are Not Turkish. But everything needs a name, even in a country like Turkey. In Turkey, people that\u00a0drink beer are called drunks (ayya\u015flar). People that love their natural environment, particularly trees, are called looters, pillagers or\u00a0plunderers (\u00e7apulcular).\u00a0Brave sons and daughters […]<\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":83,"featured_media":70586,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[89,922],"tags":[57,2186,1018],"class_list":["post-70634","post","type-post","status-publish","format-standard","has-post-thumbnail","hentry","category-turkey","category-world","tag-human-rights-turkey","tag-police-terror","tag-recep-tayyip-erdogan"],"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70634","targetHints":{"allow":["GET"]}}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/83"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=70634"}],"version-history":[{"count":0,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/70634\/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media\/70586"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=70634"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=70634"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.turkishnews.com\/en\/content\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=70634"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}